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Joke of the Day

"What does Jerry Sandusky and a Silver Medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind!"

"Why did the hippy drown at the beach? Because he was too far out mannnn."

"I love self deprecating humour. Shame I'm no good at it."

"please stop asking me to change my password, i'm getting tired of renaming my cat all the time"

"[having sex with centaur] ME: *man that fortune cookie was spooky accurate*"

"I'm bringing sexy backward."

"Why cant you make fun of Chinese people? Because its just wong"

"If I had a time machine I'd take 17 dollars to 1901 and buy several luxurious homes. Related: does anyone have a time machine and 17 dollars"

"[Confession] ""I killed a man"" ""Wait what"" ""Lol had to get that off my chest, now why did you come in today, my son?"""

"Repeatedly referring to the electrician as a ""take charge kind of guy"" is a great way to make your doorbell turn on the garbage disposal."