190944

Joke of the Day

"Why don't the Amish waterski? The horses would drown. Ba-dum TISH"

"What happened to the frog's car? It was toad."

"[picking out a washing machine] how many watermelons can this hold? ""uhh I dunno, 11?"" only 11? *keeps walking to next one* how many waterme"

"This murderer my friend knew double crossed him. He really stabbed him in the back."

"Why did no one come to the ghost's party? [OC] The h was in charge of the invitations."

"Our Faults ""Once a friend of mine and I agreed that it would be helpful for each of us to tell the other all our faults"" ""How did it work ?"" ""We haven't spoken for five years""."

"how do you get pikachu onto a bus You Pokemon"

"Why did the blind lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well."

"The kidnapper rang and said ""10,000 and you get your wife back"" ""Negotiate with him!"" advised the policeman ""20,000 and she's all yours"""

"[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)"