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Joke of the Day

"Why don't the Amish waterski? The horses would drown. Ba-dum TISH"

"Dear Stephanie on Facebook, I do not care that you are watching The Breakfast Club. I only want to know what channel it's on."

"The Snake Handler The snake handler suffered from a reptile dysfinction"

"where do sperm go when they die? The sementery."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her."

"Friend 1 ""hey dude what's your PSN name?"" Friend 2 ""did you just assume my platform!"""

"Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other one looks at him and replies, ""HOLY SHIT, A TAKING MUFFIN!!"""

"When is a black dog not a black dog ? When it's a greyhound !"

"Greeting card [cover] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's [inside] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's"

"I finally figured out why a sneeze is the equivalent of 1/8th an orgasm... I could foresee something unpleasant and unavoidable, it's now over and I can get on with my day."