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Joke of the Day

"Greeting card [cover] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's [inside] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's"

"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."

"The best things in life are free. My neighbor's unsecured wi-fi, for instance."

"How do you answer the question ""What's new?"" without sighing really loudly first?"

"Q. What does Kodak film and Condoms have in common? A. Both are made to capture special moments."

"New study shows Android phone users are more likely to put out, apparently iPhone users are too busy waiting in a line to have sex."

"Two men were sitting in a bar... Man1: I've fucked your mother! Man2: Dad, go home, you're drunk!"

"My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles."

"Guy: I want a room Receptionist: Sorry no rooms available G: My name is improvement R: So what? G: there is always a room for improvement !!!"

"Turns out 6 foot penguins don't exist, in related news, I might have just ran over a nun."