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Joke of the Day

"I finally figured out why a sneeze is the equivalent of 1/8th an orgasm... I could foresee something unpleasant and unavoidable, it's now over and I can get on with my day."

"A man walks into a ........ Pulls out a ......... And ........... Piss off Fill in the blanks."

"Drinking alcohol before pregnancy can cause pregnancy."

"What is the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes and the other decomposes."

"*job interview* Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form"

"A reality show for little engines called ""So, You Think You Can?"""

"When I give people a tour of my bedroom, I like to say, ""And this is where the magic happens,"" followed by a sad, ""... magic isn't real."""

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!!"

"What do you call a person of mixed heritage from eastern Turkey/northern Iraq, and from Wisconsin? A Cheese Kurd."

"My girlfriend told me she's ""spotting"" and I'm like yeah right for who? You can't even bench 50 Lbs lol"