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Joke of the Day

"*cat lays on my leg* *I remain perfectly still for hours, so she won't leave* *I move half an inch* *cat buys bus-ticket for next town over*"

Next Joke
 
"Whitney Houston is 3 Years sober! Wow! Never thought it would happen"
"After hearing Kim and Kanye are having a kid via in vitro fertilization... Of course Kanye picked the option where he could have sex with himself and still have a kid."
"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"
"I have a confession to make, I am a lesbian... Trapped in a man's body."
"So an Italian light bulb walks into a bar... The light bulb tells the bartender he needs ibuprofen. The bartender asks, ""Why so?"" The light bulb replies, ""I'm a light headed!"""
"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? It was a while ago... but I heard he's al right now"
"I invented a new word today... Plagiarism"
"Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? Works pretty well, doesn't it?"
"*turns on the news* I wonder if things are getting better in the wor-- tv: AN ALLIGATOR ATE A BABY"