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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? It was a while ago... but I heard he's al right now"

"Counterspace..... is that like antimatter?"

"A priest walks into a shoemakers shope... And says to the cobbler, ""Help! My soles need heeling!"""

"I've tried everywhere so I can confirm that there is no snooze button on a baby."

"I keep making jokes about my dads new Thai bride. He's getting pretty sick of them. My dads getting sick of them too."

"What do you call a well-behaved Indian takeaway? A proppadom"

"Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval."

"Calling bullshit on movies. Not once have I walked into a public restroom and found a gun taped to the back of the toilet."

"a white girl drowned today when her anchor tattoo pulled her to the bottom, sadly her infinity tattoo didnt mean she'd live forever"

"Bears can swim, climb trees, and open doors. Why aren't there ""BEWARE OF BEARS"" signs posted fucking everywhere?!"