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Joke of the Day

"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"

"What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common? They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud"

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon master? Ash"

"A survey says parents spend $1k on their children's electronics yearly. When WE were young we walked 5 miles uphill in the snow w/ NO APPS!"

"Two kittens are sitting on a roof. Which one falls off first? The one with the smallest [](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friction#Coefficient_of_friction)"

"I had a dream I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted."

"What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can reason with the terrorist!"

"I'm holding a benefit for people with erectile dysfunction or orgasm issues. If you can't come, let me know."

"Why are men great cooks.... because with 1 sausage, a pair of nuts and some milk it can fill up a woman for nine months."

"*logs onto Facebook* *sees 347 ultrasound pictures* *logs off forever*"