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Joke of the Day

"those Ringling Bros elephants are hanging out in my backyard doing coke in my jacuzzi again"

"Hey online media: ""Comfortability"" isn't a word. The noun you're looking for is ""comfort."" And it doesn't need you to give it a fancy hat."

"Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde."

"What soft drink do pigs like best? Root beer."

"Dear girls, not every guy is in love with you, sometimes they like your prettier friend and need your help."

"My favorite dinosaur is the Clitorous, its is the smallest of the dinosaurs, it is also hard to find because it likes to hide in the bushes Credit goes to comedian Etta May."

"Taking my 4 year old to see Straight Outta Compton. I can't remember ever being this excited for a movie that's rated G."

"While getting ready to leave on trip, I was trying to get my wife to hurry up. She says ""Why are you rushin'?"" Too which I replied ""Because my grandpa is from Moscow."" Duh.."

"How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?"

"What's brown and runs around your garden? Your fence."