190766
Joke of the Day
"I am being so rude. Apologies. Google, is there anything you want to ask me?"
Next Joke
"[taking baby's shoes off & examining the soles] ""Oh look, completely clean. It's almost as if you were carried everywhere."""
"The word of the day is legs... Spread the word!"
"65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed."
"I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it. Doctor: This is your third Botox appointment. That wasn't even funny the first time."
"What do you call it when a chickpea gets killed? Hummuside"
"Me, Myself & Irene What would be the movie called if it were about you? You Yourself & Urine."
"When a woman says she doesn't want a boyfriend what she really means is that she doesn't want you"
"Neighbor asked me over for coffee and said 'make yourself comfortable', so I did, I went home."
"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."