135286

Joke of the Day

"65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed."

"Pornstar Lisa Ann has retired... I wonder if she read her contract and realised she was getting screwed..."

"I'd like to say that ALL quilts are great... ...but I try to avoid making blanket statements."

"What happens when you come across lion? Wipe it off and say sorry."

"Why do women spend less time in prison than men? Because a period ends a sentence."

"Insult Joke P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: Why? P1: To get to the little bitch's house. P1: Knock knock P1: Who's there? P2: The chicken"

"70% of all university students identify themselves as procrastinators. .. The other 30% haven't gotten round to it yet."

"If it wasn't for the random passerby with the horrific deformity, I wouldn't know nearly as much about what the top of my shoes looked like."

"If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? Ans : No time at all it is already built."

"So me and my ex never worked out I was a cancer she was a cunt.. Anything but a Virgo and her Pisces smelt like a Taurus"