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Joke of the Day

"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."

"Why you should definitely visit the Grand Canyon... Well... it's just plain *gorge*-ous"

"What's a pirate's favorite video game? **Call of Booty.** Because there's mighty phat loot and booty ta be pillagin' and plunderin', matey."

"Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!"

"""Say no to Lindsay Lohan"" - Drugs"

"There once was a woman named Hill (ary) There once was a woman named Hill whose cunt was of case-hardened steel. She would get a great thrill from an emery wheel, or an off-center pneumatic drill."

"You've seen those mobile trucks for grooming pets, I just saw a mobile barbershop truck for humans and thought... I wonder if a dog drives that?"

"The only drinking problem I have is not having enough money to keep buying it."

"One agent stops by another agent's table to tell him the big news: ""Elvis just died!"" The second agent says nothing then starts nodding. ""Good career move."""

"Losing my virginity was like being born again Naked, soaking wet, crying in the hands of my father..."