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Joke of the Day

"Halloween '94: Mom says store sold out of Batman costumes and buys me a Catwoman one. Called me Catman. The worst part: she went as Batman?"

"Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people? Dad."

"So Isaac Newton sits under a coconut tree..."

"What do you call really clear urine? 1080p"

"Programmers How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem."

"Where can you find the best joke book in the world? The Seattle Seahawks play book. Edit: sorry for the typo."

"Dogs have a tendency to bark just to hear themselves bark. Reminds me of some people I know."

"An English Joke What happens to Santa when he gets addicted to heroin? He becomes a dependent clause"

"Husband: Can I use your phone? Me: *throwing phone in the ocean* My what?"

"I hate it when I'm on twitter & there isn't a car behind me to honk when the light is green."