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Joke of the Day

"Husband: Can I use your phone? Me: *throwing phone in the ocean* My what?"

"Where do gay midgets come out from? The cabinet."

"I hate it when people go round quoting the bible. I haven't even read it yet, but somehow folks think it's cool to give key plot points away"

"What did the boy monkey say to the girl monkey? You're a prime mate!"

"Jokes religious people find offensive Why did chicken cross the road? He had cancer on his balls. P.S. He was actually Allah and not chicken"

"Two Fish Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He is drunk, and he tells the bulb to screw itself."

"What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish? His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!"

"I need to go Wal-Mart but I don't wear pajamas, I'm not a NASCAR fan and I'm not fat. This is what I call a conundrum."

"Atoms are the biggest liars in the universe... They make up everything."