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Joke of the Day

"Can you fly a black hawk? Can the popes di*k fit through a donut."

"Me: Hey, I'm going to say a knock knock joke, but you have to start me off! Them: Okay.. knock knock Me: Who's there? Them: *confused silence*"

"What can an Elephant make that no other animal can make? Baby elephants."

"I'm not usually too good at jokes but um... Tiss"

"Why do seagulls live by the Sea..? ..Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it."

"I'm getting an MRI tomorrow... to find out whether or not I'm claustrophobic."

"I fostered a child the other day ...Got him in the back of the head with all four cans!"

"You know what they say about assuming things... No I have no idea!! Did you assume I did?!"

"How do Jewish pedophiles lure in victims? ""Would you like to buy a candy?"""

"Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell. After: get them to put on pants."