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Joke of the Day

"Why do seagulls live by the Sea..? ..Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it."

"Hey...quick question, fellas: Does it still count as leg day if you just shaved them?"

"Two Jews walk into a bar... And try to think of more ""fine"" ideas to fuck up the Internet."

"Current beard: Outdoor woodsman Current body: Indoor couchman"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."

"If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking."

"There's a new wheelchair party forming But it doesn't really stand for anything. (At least it'll always have a spokes person)"

"What do you call a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy who is well-endowed? A Hung-Ariyan."

"I've always stood up for black people... It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat"

"What can turn a fox into an elephant? A marriage certificate."