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Joke of the Day

"I flashed my BIOS... ... and got arrested for indecent exposure."

"Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it's like a high-five for your feet."

"I couldn't afford to take my kids to Sea World. So I took them to our local fish market, saying, ""Shhhh... they're all asleep."""

"How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? ""...They're, their, there."""

"Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations? Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution..... (I'll show myself out)"

"Why was Noah such a compelling character? He had a good ark."

"I think dinosaurs didn't get hit by a meteor they just all committed suicide because they didn't have internet"

"A man walks into a therapist's office, looking for closure..."

"Me: kids, your mother & I are in a gang now. There's room for 2 more members Son: but there's 3 of us Me [petting both our dogs]: 3 what?"

"My wife & I went to a costume party as each other. She walked around pointing at things, asking how much they cost. I showed up 2 hrs late."