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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't afford to take my kids to Sea World. So I took them to our local fish market, saying, ""Shhhh... they're all asleep."""

"What is jon snow's favourite slang? IDK"

"About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach."

"Who was the best player on the Seahawks last night? The Broncos' center"

"If Facebook really wanted to entertain us, they'd make it a requirement for people to share their ""mental status"" in addition to each new status update."

"What's the difference between a trunk full of bowling balls and a trunk full of dead babies? You can't unload a trunk full of bowling balls with a pitchfork."

"wife: ""you promised you wouldnt buy anything stupid with our lottery winnings"" me: [covering penguin's ears] ""he can hear you linda"""

"If women lactate... Then men..."

"What do rednecks do on Halloween? Pumpkin."

"Man in the book store a man enters a bookstore and asks: do you have a book called "" men- king of the house"" gets a reply: No, we don't sell fairy tales here."