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Joke of the Day
"What rings twice and screams once? Ray Charles answering the iron"
Next Joke
"When I lived on a houseboat I was seeing the girl next door, but eventually we drifted apart."
"I'm told as a lady in my 30s I shouldn't wear certain things anymore - like halter tops, pigtails, and the scalps of my vanquished enemies."
"What do you call a teenage boy who turns into a vampire before he gets bit? Premature Edraculation"
"What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So you're the one!"
"I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice while on vacation. My gondolences."
"Not to be vague, but stuff and things"
"In an interview: ""How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?"" ""I Excel at it."" ""Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir?"" ""Word."" Edit: thanks u/Steve_Jobs_iGhost"
"Have you heard about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard"
"Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food."