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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So you're the one!"

"What do you call it when two high people get in an argument? A pot roast."

"I don't know what I'd do without Twitter. Probably my work."

"A piece of ham Ham is ham. The end"

"When you are drinking with your sister you can make a bunch of really stupid mistakes... if you don't pull out."

"Do you want to hear a joke about sports cars? Are you sure? It contains spoilers!"

"A jewish boy goes up to his father and says ""Abba, I need 40 dollars."" The father looks surprised and says "" THIRTY DOLLARS? What do you need Twenty dollars for?"""

"Son: ""I got expelled"" Dad: ""How?"" Son: ""I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."" Dad: ""That's pretty dumb but-"" Son: ""Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."" Dad: ""Ok?"" Son: ""And rub 1 out."""

"I don't have a problem with man buns You used to have to talk to someone for 3 or 4 minutes to figure out if he's a fuckhead"

"Life takes you where you are meant to be. Apparently I am meant to be poor with a ton of education and experience."