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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I threw firewood at you and yelled ""shoo"", but with the amount of eye liner you wear, you resemble the raccoons that raided my cooler."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That's not funny!"

"A crazy girlfriend is like a box chocolates, They will both kill your dog."

"Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged everyday"

"Why did the comedian mermaid die ? Because it had a dry sense of humor ."

"Life is a soup And i am a fork"

"OP started a pizza place. They don't deliver."

"What does an unborn child say... ...while its parents are having sex? ""Oh yes, daddy!"""

"""DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME"" - Farts"

"[Calls boss] I won't be in today ""Why not?"" [camera pans out to a raccoon wearing sunglasses driving away in my car] I've got the shits."