190113

Joke of the Day

"Why did the lonely man work on his days off? (X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company."

"Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids... I won!! No one's a match for me and my kettle."

"I heard about this one place with red signs that thanked drivers for slowing down... ...but when I drove by, everything was blue."

"Let's hold off calling dolphins the smartest animal until they stop getting caught in nets."

"How is making cheese like invading Syria? You get some Kurds in the way."

"I used to wonder... ...why golf tournaments aren't called Stroke-Offs Then I turned 12."

"*Britney Spears releases a new fragrance* *the other dinner guests look embarrassed and pretend not to notice.*"

"Even after 20 years, Jared Fogle is still getting into smaller and smaller jeans."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Haha you are adopted. Credit to this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3715bp/one_mans_trash_is_another_mans_treasure_would_be/"

"What's the difference between love and herpes? Herpes last forever."