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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the crap out of the room for being black."

"Image sharing sites before E3 are just like a toy vegetable stand Full of fake leeks"

"Sky TV 'Fluid Viewing' I thought this meant they were now streaming PornHub"

"There was a blackout in the streets of Houston yesterday... Don't worry, the police have everything under control..... they shot him."

"Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the five stages of learning that Ben Affleck is the new Batman."

"Doc: You have gallstones Me: Ugh. Doc: You can control it with diet. Me: Great! Doc: No chocolate, cheese, fried foods... Me: Take it out."

"Instead of my usual Monday snark I'm going to be upbeat and have a great day LOLJK today will ass rape my spirit animal with its angry fist."

"What happened to the adhesive suicide bomber? He glue up."

"Why is the mens bathroom such an angry place? It's where all the pricks hang out."

"YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF BEING ADDICTED TO METH IS?!? ONLY ONE MORE NIGHT TILL CHRISTMAS!"