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Joke of the Day
"Breadmakers Always looking to prove something."
Next Joke
"FRIEND: you gotta go home and show your wife who's boss ME: damn right [later] ME: jen listen up *pulls out photo* this is my manager tim"
"Stop saying ""There's plenty of fish in the sea."" I'm sick of fish seducing all our human women!"
"When my girlfriend dumped me I spent 8 hours making a replica of her house and her on Sims, then burning it down. Easiest way to move on."
"How Many Friend Zoned Men Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb? None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!"
"What did one architect say to the other? ""I see the floor in your plan."""
"My friend's name is Jesus. So if I go driving with him, can Jesus literally take the wheel?"
"How'd Florida man break his leg raking leaves? He fell off the palm tree"
"My mom got one of the bracelets that help you with balance, so I pushed her into the shelf at walmart. It doesn't work."
"What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos."