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Joke of the Day

"Why are brides so happy on their wedding days? No more blowjobs."

"My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. ""Eleven,"" I replied. ""Wow! You must be a player,"" she laughed. ""No,"" I said, ""I'm their coach."""

"Life would be more fun if every time we sneezed we lifted off the ground a few feet and came back down in slow motion"

"Why did the apple pie get fired from his job? Because he showed up baked."

"Mobius strippers... never show their backside."

"Interested in seeing the ""North Pole""? (Well, that's what the Mrs. calls it)"

"I hadn't seen my girlfriend for a while... When she saw me, she said, ""Wow, your hands are so soft!"" ""But... where have you been working out?"""

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. EDIT: LADDER. I MEANT LADDER."

"LeAnn Rimes No it doesn't."

"*Guy is rushed in on a stretcher* DR: what happened EMT: we found him passed out & seizing during a shrek marathon DR: WE'VE GOT AN OGREDOSE"