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Joke of the Day
"I made a joke about candy today... ... it made me snicker"
Next Joke
"Is there a way to politely throw breathe mints in someone's mouth while they're talking?"
"The iCloud leaks weren't an accident at all. It was Apple trying to make up for causing Adam and Eve to have to wear clothes in the first place."
"What's Hodor's job? Raisin Bran"
"911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?"
"[mall food court] Me: *stomach rumbling* OMG not now Brain: Too bad you hate using public washrooms My White Undies: Sweet baby jesus no"
"Two people go to a Nickelback concert."
"The only acceptable man buns... ...are the buns men are born with below the waist. #datass"
"If Gravemind from Halo did product placement... We exist / Together now Two corpses / In one grave Burma-Shave"
"Achieve the ""smokey eye"" look by setting your head on fire."