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Joke of the Day
"Two people go to a Nickelback concert."
Next Joke
"Pokemon GO is the biggest thing right now, guess whats up next! Plantation Tycoon DownSouth 1600s Go Railroad 1800's Tycoon Auschwitz Tycoon Pedophile Go"
"Some people say don't bring a knife to a gun fight but I say DONT GO TO THE GUNFIGHT AT ALL ARE YOU KIDDING ME BULLETS HURT SO BAD OMG"
"[standing next to the boss at the urinal] Ok, don't act weird. ""That's some impressive bladder volume, sir."""
"TECH TIP: to prolong your iPhone's battery life, keep it surrounded by a small Druidic altar of oak leaves and blanched chicken bones #tech"
"When babies cry at movies: I hate when people's baby start crying in movie theaters. Bruh I didn't pay $12.50 to hear a reminder of how weak your pull out game is."
"Hate when the grammar police single me out like some kind of which hunt"
"Donald Trump has just announced his candidacy for president Sorry for putting the punchline in the title."
"What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent? Rice Paddy. - Edit: Credit goes to my nickname from some clever fucker classmate when I was a kid."
"Just so you know, you will be asked to leave the funeral if you do a drum solo on the coffin...no matter how epic it is"