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Joke of the Day

"If a circle had a football team... ...It would have no corners."

"[Nerd Joke] Yo momma's so fat she sees red lights as green... ...Doctors call this colour blindness, physicists call it gravitational blue-shift."

"Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window."

"A joke is like a frog... ... you understand it better after you dissect it, but then the frog is dead."

"[Interview with a time traveller] ""What's life like in the year 3000?"" It's pretty much the same as 2015 but you can download a towel"

"I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was."

"I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!"

"Why did the african child die while choking on rice? because he had malaria"

"Did you hear about that amazing joke that Jesus told as he was dying? I don't know the joke, but apparently he nailed the execution."

"Dear Smart Phone, I would really wish if you spent more time with me than your Charger"