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Joke of the Day

"[Interview with a time traveller] ""What's life like in the year 3000?"" It's pretty much the same as 2015 but you can download a towel"

"What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't use a pitchfork to unload bowling balls."

"Why do white girls walk in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"I call bullshit on these retro bottles of Coca-Cola. They make you add your own cocaine."

"Guy calls his wife and says, ""I had an accident at the factory today - a machine cut off my finger!"" His wife asks, ""The whole finger?"" He replies, ""No, the one next to it."""

"My boss threw a Snickers at me and I caught it one handed so I think I'd be a good athlete if sports were played with candy bars"

"Did you hear about Han's new band? It's not as good as his solo stuff."

"Where are you from? ""So where are you from?"" ""I'm a Liberian"" ""Oh sorry"" \*whispers* ^""where ^are ^you ^from?"""

"Jay Z: Can I get a what what? Teacher: Jay Z, can you or may you? Jay Z: SORRY MAY I GET A WHAT WHAT Teacher: Yes, you may get a what what."

"The efficient part about falling asleep on the toilet at work is that inevitably someone who had beans for lunch will come and wake you."