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Joke of the Day

"Every time my gf stays over we reenact the last scene from Titanic. She hogs 99% of the bed while I'm in the floor hanging on for dear life."

"Stop sending toys to children in Africa It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you."

"[engineer looking at blueprints] ""Well, here's your problem right here. You built this thing on rock and roll."""

"Sometimes you feel like you've grown. Other times you pout for a few hours because your wife accidentally threw away your Tabasco sauce."

"Simple. An Irishman walks out of a bar."

"Here's another pizza delivery joke Actually, you'll get it in 30-45 minutes."

"Q: What do you call a monster snake that works for the government? A: A civil serpent."

"What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade!"

"Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese."

"What is the world coming too? Porn."