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Joke of the Day

"Hey girls: FYI, if you tilt the camera up just a wee bit higher you can actually get your face in the picture."

"What does a robot do at the end of one night stand? He falls off"

"We're working on saving our second million. The first one didn't go so well."

"Me: ""What's the haps, yo?"" 19yo niece: ... Me: ... 19yo niece: ... Me: ""I'm sorry."""

"When I die I want my group project members to lower me into my grave So they can let me down one last time."

"What do you call a play about a moose on a bicycle? A Moosical"

"A Comprehensive Guide on How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ??? 4. Prophet."

"The sonogram of your baby looks awesome!* So clear!** And he looks happy!*** *Creepy **Is it a human? ***I think you're having a racoon"

"What dose a device that makes electricity and a person who likes a comment on caitlyn's face book page have in common? They are both generators (jenner-rater)"

"TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport... The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking ""Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"" I replied ""No, only guns."""