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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport... The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking ""Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"" I replied ""No, only guns."""

"What's a Mexican's favourite letter? C. LOL! I heard this at work today, top fucking bantz!"

"A Jew, a mathematician and an Irishman enter a bar Bartender says: ""How did you all land up in the wrong joke?"""

"I was trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl. She put me in the brother zone... Good thing I live in Alabama!"

"Why do Germans have such great focus? I think it's because they used to have concentration camps."

"Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into."

"What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? *Shady's back* "

"ignorance or apathy? I dont know and I dont care"

"Came downstairs to find my 85 year old mum watching the TV Me:"" Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?"" Mum: ""Just to make sure"""

"What do you call a bra that tightens the more you try to take it off? A booby trap!"