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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee Have you tried taking the spoon out?"

"Ugh Starbucks spelled my name right again and now I have nothing to Instagram."

"Just told a girl who was getting too close we should just stay friens. In case you're wondering, I'll give her the d later"

"Not sure if my cooking skills have improved or taste buds have adapted."

"The Chinese police made an arrest today, but he wasn't charged. They arrested the Wong man."

"The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it..."

"*checking out of Hotel California* You can check-out any time you like ""Okay yes, now"" But you can never leave! ""Ugh where's your manager"""

"Where did the amino acid go to church? The cysteine chapel."

"July 4th celebrates the original Brexit. Thanks George"

"Who was the world's greatest thief ? Atlas because he held up the whole world !"