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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru."

"How do I apply this ointment ""liberally"" without compromising my conservative christian values?"

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"Some people won't try bacon for religious reasons. I won't try religion for bacon reasons."

"Please don't share 9/11 jokes, I lost my dad on 9/11 He took over 2500 infidels with him"

"Why is ""Dick"" short for Richard? Genetics."

"Anybody Home? Yes, I am alone come in (house wife) Husband: WTF! (who came early from the office)"

"Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers ?"

"Old experiment #You are now breathing and blinking manually. #also you are aware of your tongue now. Let me know if this worked"

"I want to see a movie where a robot gains consciousness and realizes its a loser and doesn't want to do anything"