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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers ?"

"Popeye was a lonely sailor no wonder why he had such big forearms."

"What do you call two lesbian dinosaurs? Lickalotypus."

"It's not that people use only 10% of their brains, it's that only 10% of people use their brains."

"Damn girl, are you sandpaper? Because I want you to rub my wood."

"I blink one eye at a time because flying squirrels can attack at any moment."

"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"When I'm not anxious I'm anxious about it."

"I once dated a woman named Kim who hated to be called Kimberly. Then I dated a woman named Chelsea who really hated to be called Kimberly"

"How do you help someone with ADD or ADHD? Send them to a concentration camp!"