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Joke of the Day

"Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water"

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob."

"If your dog has fleas and you hear ticks, what should you do? Make a vet appointment for both of you."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunji cord? My ass. LAWL"

"My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She is using sighcology"

"I recently came across a book about a highway system in a third world country I didn't enjoy it. It was full of potholes."

"Why is it so hard to give up fizzy drinks? That shits like liquid Coke!"

"Use chemicals to wipe polish and no one bats an eye.. But use chemicals to wipe the Polish and everybody starts to lose their shit."

"What shampoo do dragons prefer? Head & Smolders"

"Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was attached to my bumper..."