189496

Joke of the Day

"I came home today to find that all of my lamps had been stolen I was absolutely delighted."

"Really cool thing about skateboards is you can take the wheels off and bash your skull in if you still use them in your forties."

"Corn mazes are a bit redundant."

"My friend asked if I knew what kind of sweater he was wearing. I said I had no idea, he said ""Guess."" ""Hollister?"" ""No. Guess."" ""North face?"" ""No... Guess"" I sill don't know."

"Our family's annual tradition, as I put up the tree, everybody gathers around to watch my wife tell me I'm stringing the lights wrong."

"I was going to make a dubstep joke But I'll just drop it."

"My sister said I'm being immature. I guess she isn't getting her nose back"

"There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food."

"[every 3 hours] You know what screw it jm going to treat myself"

"Mother: How was your first day at school? Son: It was all right except for some man called ""Teacher"" who kept spoiling all our fun!"