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Joke of the Day

"what's a resistance pilot's favorite mathematical activity? solving for x wing. what do more advanced resistance pilots do? solve for x and y wing at the same time."

"Chuck Norris doesn't flush, he scares the crap out of it."

"I lost my wife a year ago today. Sadly, within four days I won her back."

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh. If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea."

"A photon stops at a hotel and is asked: ""May I take your luggage?"" He replies, ""No, thanks. I'm traveling light."""

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That's not funny"

"BIDEN: I'mma punch him when he comes here. OBAMA: No, Joe. Don't do that. BIDEN: Punch him round the back. OBAMA: Joe. BIDEN: Kick, then."

"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried. *-Hannibal Lecter*"

"My Mom keeps warning me about talking to strangers on the Internet. I'm 34 now Mom. I don't talk to them. I sleep with them."

"I have sex daily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk."