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Joke of the Day

"Dam's biggest dilemma... Dammed if I do, damned if I don't."

"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet... ... and others wet themselves thinking no one would notice."

"Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him ""baby hands"" until he quits"

"All I want from a woman is for her to hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me it's ok to get out of her bushes."

"Ever been so drunk that you cooked a pizza at 20 degrees for 350 minutes?"

"Shoutout to grandpa... That's the only way he can hear."

"I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. - White. - Good condition. - Reliable. - Cheap. - Some evidence of rear end damage."

"My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn't seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with."

"It's been so long, I can't even remember why rock, paper & scissors started fighting."

"Eating a full box of chocolate is like shi# posting. After some time you get a lot of backfire and takes a lot of time to get yourself clean."