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Joke of the Day

"Shoutout to grandpa... That's the only way he can hear."

"We took the animals for a walk and saw a sign: 'Dogging area, please control your animal and pick up their faces...'"

"When I refer to kids as ""Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan"" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children."

"My math teacher kept giving easy parabolas and circles until the test day when he gave a large, difficult hyperbola. The long con."

"What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night? Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog."

"What do you call a black guy on a bike? Crime"

"How much cocaine can a smuggler sneak into prison? a buttload."

"GOD- ""I will send a plague that will kill all living things on earth"" *Fish slip the LORD a $20* ""On second thought how about a flood?"""

"What is the difference between a panda, four lesbians and a firetruck?"

"There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted."