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Joke of the Day

"Eating a full box of chocolate is like shi# posting. After some time you get a lot of backfire and takes a lot of time to get yourself clean."

"Gay dudes are fucking assholes! Straight dudes are fucking vaginas."

"Today I saw a guy driving around with upward of 10 parking tickets on his windshield. Now what were you saying about not giving a fuck?"

"Marriage is like a pack of cards... Marriage is like a pack of cards: all you need at the start are two hearts and a diamond, but you end up wishing you had a club and a spade..."

"what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix? A cockadockapoo."

"How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff? Straight jack it."

"I'm probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club."

"What do you call an elderly vampire? Grampire."

"Why couldn't Robin play cricket? Because he lost his bat, man."

"What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? Jeffrey Dahmer!"