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Joke of the Day

"7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me."

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"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian"
"Whenever I'm done with peeing, I like to sing ""shake it off"" when I'm done."
"I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!"
"You know how sometimes... You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you? Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist."
"Whenever I'm feeling I'm getting soft I log in to Facebook to rekindle my hate for humanity."
"Yes! Great! Bravo! Hurrah! Yippee! Cheers! Hooray! Rah Rah! Woo Hoo! Whoopee! Awesome! - Excerpt from ""Fifty Shades of Yay!"""
"So /r/The_Donald... That's it, what a joke."
"What is a geometry teachers favorite movie? Angles in the Outfield"
"An old lady at an ATM asked me if I could help her check her balance... So I pushed her over."