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Joke of the Day

"You know how sometimes... You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you? Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist."

"""How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?"" ""It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it."""

"""Hey, it's been 6 seconds. Check your phone again."" (my brain)"

"(At the dentist) 'Your grinding isn't good.' Excuse me! I've never had a man complain before."

"My ex bf called me today. I answered by screaming ""HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!"" and hung up. Should make him wonder a lil bit."

"Time flies like an arrow ... Fruit flies like a banana"

"My biology professor's favorite joke What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme!"

"How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!"

"I just called. To say. I texted you."

"Q: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!!! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!"