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Joke of the Day

"I'm so lucky that I get to wake up every day and do what I love. (eat)"

"What is the Sun's favorite candy? Starburst! Another one from my 9 year old. I don't know where he gets it."

"How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb None. It's a hardware issue"

"""Fee Fi Fo Fum"" is the ""HAY HAY GIIRLFRIEEEND"" of giant speak."

"[Nsfw] What's the difference between a dead baby and a cantaloupe? I don't fuck a cantaloupe before I eat it."

"Why doesn't, ""I have a headache!"" work for when I don't want to mow the yard?"

"What do you get if you cross a black person with an octopus? I don't know but it would be excellent at picking cotton."

"Ramadan is the only time I can get a date every night"

"*gets up off bed* *puts pants back on* Oh...so you...you wanted ACTUAL tacos then?"

"How did Popeye buy long sleeve shirts?"