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Joke of the Day

"How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb None. It's a hardware issue"

"Me: why did you stop me? Cop: for starters you're not wearing a seatbelt. Me: what about main course? Cop: step out of the car."

"Why was Yoda afraid of seven? Because six, seven eight."

"If you told me in 1995 that you had to use an mp3 player to copy programs to a telephone in the future, I'd assume you had brain damage"

"A tombstone that has a scrolling LED marquee of your greatest tweets."

"Why is salsa dancing so popular? Guacamole dancing is an extra $1.80."

"What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog? Out, out, damned Spot!"

"Former District attorney lost job after scandal, now a male sex worker. Most of his jobs are pro-boner"

"The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me."

"1: Steal ice cream van 2: Drive around slowly but never stop 3: Be proud to have helped prepare children for life's many disappointments"