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Joke of the Day
"I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes."
Next Joke
"I met Lance Armstrong after a party Me: So, Lance, how was the party? Lance (Pensively glancing at the whisky): I had a ball."
"It's so hot, I just saw a bird blow on a worm before it ate it"
"My friend told me my mustache makes me looks like Jeffery Dahmer. I said, ""Thanks. I've always wanted a killer stache."""
"What do you do when you are riding on the back of a zebra, right next to a camel, and a lion won't stop chasing you? Get off the carousel, dumb ass. You're drunk."
"I feel like Pitbull is what happens when you give a shift supervisor at Aeropostale a record deal"
"I used to be a halogen Then I took a proton to the Ne."
"""I think I have Ebola."" ""JUST DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK!"""
"I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that's why the pioneers usually died so young."
"Real geniuses never talk about that they are a genius. I know from myself."