193440

Joke of the Day

"What do you call Keanu Reeves when he served under Hitler? A Neo Nazi."

"Fears: dying alone, getting horribly maimed or disfigured, people who stick their tongue out in photos"

"Horse trots up and says to mirror: ""why the long face?"" Mirror says ""It's okay, I'm just a bit reflective today."" I'll be here all week folks."

"Who is Hitlers least favourate character in star wars? Jewbacca"

"somebody sell me a flock of sheep so i can give them cool superhero names like bahman, the green lambtern and wonder woolman"

"Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant."

"whenever I think of the happy birthday song I imagine someone softly crying and singing it under their breath, blowing out a candle alone"

"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up dude it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I'm sure he means well..."

"The year is 2089. Toasters are made clear now and no one burns toast or bagels. Crime is at 0%"