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Joke of the Day

"luke, thats a persons name. whys everybodys star wars name gotta be like, hoobie doodoo or seb neb or something"

"What's better than roses on my piano? tulips on my organ."

"Talking to you makes me invent new swear words."

"Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding."

"""Strive to be the man you want your daughter to marry"" ~ Woody Allen"

"I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either"

"What did the last-place olympian say after someone stole his sled? What have I got to luge?"

"Impotence: Nature's way of saying, ""No hard feelings"""

"Words (short and lame) Prepositions are words to not end sentences with."

"""You're an idiot."" -My wife, after frantically looking around after I scream the word ""HAY!"" while pointing at hay for the millionth time."