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Joke of the Day

"I went to a zoo that only had dogs It was a shit zoo."

"What do you call a collection of memes? A memeoir."

"A good diet is follow me around the grocery store and don't buy anything I get."

"[hands over brown bag with 10,000 ransom] ""Now give me my wife."" ""This is short by 2.39"" [hides Mcflurry] ""it's all I got."""

"How did the guy with a foot fetish ruin his date with an amputee? He got off on the wrong foot"

"*Gets arrested for making prank phone calls [At Police Station] ""You can make one phone call"" *Dials random # ""Is your fridge running?"""

"There was a French chef... ...And one day he was extremely angry and said he is going to quit. Another man asked him ""why?"" Then the chef said ""All the food is out of date and I've just had un oeuf"""

"Why are you baking octopus? So I can get octopi."

"A german walks into a bar and orders one martini. The bartender asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies ""No, one you dumbass!"""

"What's the heaviest soup in Asia? Wonton soup!"