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Joke of the Day

"*climbs Mt. Everest hoping to find clarity, PEACE & a deeper understanding of myself & the world* ""When did they put a Starbucks up here?"""

"My girlfriend got a dog, ""Missy."" She messes inside a lot though, especially if I show too much attention to the dog."

"I was researching converting to Mormonism until I found out you have to give them 10% of your income I guess I'm Jewish."

"What does Mr Miyagi call his cat Mr Meow'y"

"Where is the best place to hide after murdering a black man? Behind a badge."

"Friend: Who's that? Me: Oh...that's crazy Kathy. F: Why do you call her that? Is she funny or something? Me: No. She eats hair."

"Pregnancy is like a black ops mission They're both expensive to abort."

"What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?"" ""You're fine how am I? """

"Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells."

"Give me a compliment? Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""