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Joke of the Day

"Friend: Who's that? Me: Oh...that's crazy Kathy. F: Why do you call her that? Is she funny or something? Me: No. She eats hair."

"Why is sleeping with a weatherman always disappointing? Because he always promises 10-12 inches, but you only ever get 2-3."

"Frieza may be cool... But his brother is Cooler!"

"Where do you go when you need a sperm donation? Sasha Grey's mouth"

"What do you get when you mix a joke with a hypothetical question?"

"Confucius say lucky girl is girl who meets boy in park; Confucius say lucky boy is boy who parks meat in girl."

"""That's Superman, that's Batman, and that's Cyborg. If you won't call them by their names, I can't play with you anymore."" - me to my 5yo."

"Did you hear about that guy who had the entire left half of his body chopped off? He's dead now."

"I asked a Mexican man how he was voting in the next election. He was on the fence."

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... ...so I got drunk."